Ryan O'Callaghan's plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself. Growing up, the not-so-subtle messages he heard from his family and from TV and film equated being gay with disease and death. Bubbling under the surface of his NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and hidden drug use. A member of the Chiefs organisation stepped in, recognising the signs of drug addiction. Ryan reluctantly sought psychological help, and it was there that he revealed his lifelong secret. He faced a fork in the road: end it, or find out if his family and football friends could accept him.