The weary student handbook genre is in need of a belligerent mauling. This is University of Strategic Optimism's crack at the job. They don't want to talk down to anyone, but neither do they want to chat them up, so this is an attempt at thinking out the university from the perspective of the students. Written in the queasy come-down afterglow of the recent wave of student activism in the UK, this guide attempts to contextualise students' struggles and to bring them closer to home.